There once was...........

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HOORAY for the SUPREMES.

Post  fortuna on Thu Jun 28, 2018 1:12 pm

A horny young male Eskimo
Couldn't come by just rubbing a nose.
He slipped out of his hut
To search for a white slut
Who knew how to suck and to blow.

A prudish WASP girl in New York
Plugged up her cunt with a cork.
A woodpecker or two,
Made the grade, it is true,
But she totally baffled the stork. Embarassed tongue

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1 for the money, 2 for the show.

Post  fortuna on Sun Jul 08, 2018 11:17 am

There was a young fellow from Kent
Who had a peculiar bent
He collected the turds
Of various birds
And had them for lunch during Lent.

There was a young farm girl named Sutton,
Who said, as she cut up the mutton,
"My father preferred,
Screwing sheep from the herd,
This is one of his children I'm cuttin'." affraid Rolling Eyes

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Should I do it again?

Post  fortuna on Mon Jul 16, 2018 5:50 am

The cost of bordellos was steep,
And the horny old Scot was so cheap,
That when he wanted to screw,
There was nothing to do,
But take out his passion on sheep.

A wanton young woman named Lake,
Fell so perversely in love with her snake,
That she wished the boa
Could shoot spermatozoa
So remarkable offspring they'd make. Rolling Eyes

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Work, work, work or am I a jerk?

Post  fortuna on Mon Jul 23, 2018 12:27 pm

A zookeeper in lovely Capri,
Screwed a baboon by the sea.
The results were most horrid,
All ass and no forehead,
Four balls and a purple goatee.

A hot-blooded Scot from Glasgow
Didn't care where he buried his prow.
In one day he screwed,
Four whores and a ewe,
Then ended by fucking a sow. cheers Shocked




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At it Again..............................

Post  fortuna on Fri Aug 03, 2018 3:38 pm

There was a young lady from Plain View
Whose boyfriend said, "may I explore you?"
She replied to the chap,
"I will draw you a map,
Where others have been to before you."

There was a young man most forlorn
Whose parents wished he hadn't been born.
For he wouldn't have been
If his father had seen
That the end of the rubber was torn. pirat tongue Rolling Eyes

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Maybe YES............and Maybe NO.

Post  fortuna on Sat Aug 11, 2018 4:34 am

His wife had a nice little cunt;
It was hairy, and soft, and in front.
And with this she'd fuck him
Though sometimes she'd suck him
A charming, if commonplace, stunt.

Her curvaceous young aunt told her this:
"Making love in the hay is great bliss.
For it tickles my bun
And helps me to come
WHEN COMFORTABLY LYING LIKE THIS. Rolling Eyes Embarassed Cool

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Ink a dink a do.

Post  fortuna on Sat Aug 18, 2018 3:22 am

A gorgeous young woman named Sweeney,
Was a cock teasing bitch, a real meanie.
The hatch of her snatch,
Had a latch that would catch.
She could only be screwed by Houdini.

Said a man who was known for his larks,
"I like sex inside, not in parks,
For you feel more at ease,
And your ass doesn't freeze,
And bystanders don't make snide remarks." Embarassed Razz

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Hey hey, ho ho, whadaya know?

Post  fortuna on Sun Aug 26, 2018 6:02 am

There was a most vicious harlot
Who wished she had teeth in her twat.
"For just think," said she,
"How nice it would be,
To cut and mount all the pricks I have had."

There was a pretty young miss,
Who loved watching her lover piss.
She made him drink beer,
By the quart, all the year,
And this Lager assured her of bliss. Embarassed Shocked

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Was McCain a hero or RINO?

Post  fortuna on Sat Sep 01, 2018 8:34 pm

An unfortunate fellow named Chase
Had an ass that was quite out of place.
It caused consternation,
When an investigation
Showed that he shit through his face.

A filthy young lady named Daisy
Was really infernally lazy.
She hadn't the time
To wipe her behind,
And the stench of it drove her men crazy. Razz Shocked Rolling Eyes

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Hi Ho Kapernick must GO!

Post  fortuna on Sat Sep 08, 2018 4:05 pm

A horny young lady from France,
Said yes every time she had a chance.
But she thought it was crude
To make love in the nude
So she always went home with wet pants.

A mortician who practiced in Fife
Made love to the corpse of his wife.
"How could I know, Judge?
She was cold and didn't budge---
Just the same as she acted in life." pale Sad

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What's an old dude to do?

Post  fortuna on Thu Sep 20, 2018 2:52 pm

"I regret," she announced with a smile,
"That our music must wait for awhile.
I would love a duet,
But I can't join you yet,
Because ragtime was never my style."

A prostitute's perfect condition
Was a tribute to sperm as nutrition.
Her remarkable diet---
She urged all to try it---
Was solely her clients emission. Cool Now that's a mouthful. Rolling Eyes Shocked

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I'm praying for Kavanaugh. Think 1st, answer well.

Post  fortuna on Thu Sep 27, 2018 12:06 am

The French Legionnaires were fighters determined
But their sex lives were those of mean vermin.
When in from patrol
They'd screw any hole
That would possibly let any sperm in.

A toothsome young starlet named Smart
Was asked to display oral art
As the price for the role.
She complied, met his goal.
And then sank her teeth in the part. affraid Shocked

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Hip, Hip Hooray for Kavanaugh.

Post  fortuna on Mon Oct 08, 2018 1:55 pm

A milkmaid there was, with a stutter,
Who was lonely and wanted a futter.
She had no where to turn,
So she diddled a churn,
And managed to come with the butter.

A sperm faced, alack and forsooth,
His moment of sexual truth.
He's expected to fall
On a womb's spongy wall
But was dashed to his death on a tooth. Cool Rolling Eyes Shocked

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How many of U R dykes?

Post  fortuna on Mon Oct 15, 2018 11:13 pm

A young circus man name of Dick
Perfected a most wonderful trick.
With a safe for protection
He's get an erection
And then balance himself on his prick.

A bird watching man name of Hank
Was stalking up a river bank.
In the waist high rye grass
He stepped right on an ass
Then heard a young girl call out, "Thanks!" Suspect No Rolling Eyes


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This is for the DYKES & FAGS.

Post  fortuna on Tue Oct 23, 2018 3:05 pm

Two dykes from the far Adriatic,
Deciding to be more pragmatic,
Have switched from mere handling,
To mutual candling.
The result is, they're waxing ecstatic.

There was a young faggot named Lloyd
Whose rear end was studded with rhoids.
They ticked so nice
That he drew a high price
From the other gay feminine boys. Embarassed Shocked

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THIS IS FOR REAL men & women.

Post  fortuna on Tue Oct 30, 2018 11:30 pm

There was a young man of Australia
Who painted his ass like a dahlia.
The drawing was fine,
The color divine,
The scent---ah, that was a failure.

There was a young man name of Paul,
Whose cock was exceedingly small.
So he had the habit,
Of screwing with rabbits,
But the hares scarcely felt it at all. Razz Rolling Eyes

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Oh Well, What the Hell!

Post  fortuna on Thu Nov 08, 2018 2:53 pm

A disgusting young man named McGill
Made his neighbors exceedingly ill.
When they learned of his habits
Involving white rabbits
And a bird with a flexible bill.

A drunken old woman named Rupps
Confessed one night in her cups,
"My life's worst folly,
Was fucking my collie---
But I got a nice price for the pups." Wink Cool Shocked

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YEAH! Desantis wins Fl. Gov.

Post  fortuna on Fri Nov 16, 2018 1:47 pm

A young lady golfer named Duff
Had a lovely, luxuriant muff.
In his haste to get in her
One eager beginner
Lost both of his balls in the rough.

The buxom young chorus girl in Reno,
Lost all her bucks playing Keno.
But then she turned bawdy,
And married a Saudi,
And now she owns the casino. Razz Sad

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My Dick's bigger than your Dick.

Post  fortuna on Sun Nov 25, 2018 1:46 am

A timid young woman named Grace
Refused adamantly to place
Her hand on a cock
When it turned hard as a rock,
For fear it would explode in her face.

While on a hunting vacation
The lodge members tried new recreation
Till their cabin was teemin'
With buckets of semen
From hot mutual masturbation. affraid Embarassed

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No one of youse folks have puns?

Post  fortuna on Mon Dec 03, 2018 3:40 am

From the depths of the crypt at St. Giles
Came a scream that resounded for miles.
Said the abbot, "My word!
Has Father Stoddard,
Forgotten the Bishop has piles?"

The hottest sex book in the writing
Was a treatise on cunts and their sucking.
But in Frisco this work
Was eclipsed by a Turk
Whose book was on assholes and their fucking. Suspect What a Face

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Re: There once was...........

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