The Rabbi is Leaving.

The Rabbi is leaving.


At the Saturday morning service the rabbi
announced that he was planning to leave for
a larger congregation that would pay him more.
There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave, because he is so popular.

Fred Shapiro, who owns several car dealerships in Venice and Sarasota, stands up and proclaims:
"If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!” The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands
and says: "If the rabbi will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee a free college education for his children!"
More sighs and loud applause.

Estelle Rubin, age 88, stands and announces with a smile:
"If the Rabbi stays, I will give him sex."
There is total silence.

The rabbi, blushing, asks her: -
"Mrs. Rubin, you’re a wonderful and holy lady. Whatever possessed you to say that?”

Estelle’s 90-year old husband, Abe, is now trying to
hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies: -

"Well, I just asked my husband how we could Help,
and he said: 'Fuck him.'