Political Parable Using Cows.

obviously an oldie with references to former CA leadership;
DEMOCRAT
>>> > You have two cows.
>>> > Your neighbor has none.
>>> > You feel guilty for being successful.
>>> > Barbara Streisand sings for you.
>>> >
>>> > REPUBLICAN
>>> > You have two cows.
>>> > Your neighbor has none.
>>> > So?
>>> >
>>> > SOCIALIST
>>> > You have two cows.
>>> > The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
>>> > You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
>>> >
>>> > COMMUNIST
>>> > You have two cows.
>>> > The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
>>> > You wait in line for hours to get it.
>>> > It is expensive and sour.
>>> >
>>> > CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
>>> > You have two cows.
>>> > You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
>>> >
>>> > DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
>>> > You have two cows.
>>> > The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support
>>> > a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from
>>> > your government.
>>> >
>>> > BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
>>> > You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks
>>> > the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.
>>> >
>>> > AMERICAN CORPORATION
>>> > You have two cows.
>>> > You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
>>> > You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are
>>> > surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating
>>> > you have down sized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
>>> >
>>> > FRENCH CORPORATION
>>> > You have two cows.
>>> > You go on strike because you want three cows.
>>> > You go to lunch and drink wine.
>>> > Life is good.
>>> >
>>> > JAPANESE CORPORATION
>>> > You have two cows.
>>> > You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
>>> > and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably
>>> > crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
>>> >
>>> > GERMAN CORPORATION
>>> > You have two cows.
>>> > You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
>>> > excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately
>>> > they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
>>> >
>>> > ITALIAN CORPORATION
>>> > You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
>>> > While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
>>> > You break for lunch.
>>> > Life is good.
>>> >
>>> > RUSSIAN CORPORATION
>>> > You have two cows.
>>> > You have some vodka.
>>> > You count them and learn you have five cows.
>>> > You have some more vodka.
>>> > You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
>>> > The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
>>> >
>>> > TALIBAN CORPORATION
>>> > You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
>>> > You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private
>>> > parts.
>>> > Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in
>>> > the hospital.
>>> > You take the restitution check and plant opium poppies.
>>> >
>>> > IRAQI CORPORATION
>>> > You have two cows.
>>> > They go into hiding.
>>> > They send radio tapes of their mooing.
>>> >
>>> > POLISH CORPORATION
>>> > You have two bulls.
>>> > Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
>>> >
>>> > FLORIDA CORPORATION
>>> > You have a black cow and a brown cow.
>>> > Everyone votes for the best looking one.
>>> > Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black
>>> > one.
>>> > Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people
>>> > can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from
>>> > out-of-state tell you which is the best looking cow.
>>> >
>>> > CALIFORNIAN
>>> > You have a cow and a bull.
>>> > The bull is depressed.
>>> > It has spent its life living a lie.
>>> > It goes away for two weeks.
>>> > It comes back after a taxpayer-paid sex-change operation.
>>> > You now have two cows.
>>> > One makes milk; the other doesn't.
>>> > You try to sell the transgender cow.
>>> > Its lawyer sues you for discrimination.
>>> > You lose in court.
>>> > You sell the milk-generating cow to pay the damages.
>>> > You now have one rich, transgender, non-milk-producing cow.
>>> > You change your business to beef.
>>> > PETA pickets your farm.
>>> > Jesse Jackson makes a speech in your driveway.
>>> > Cruz Bustamante calls for higher farm taxes to help "working cows".
>>> > Hillary Clinton calls for the nationalization of 1/7th of your farm "for the children".
>>> > Gray Davis signs a law giving your farm to Mexico.
>>> > The L.A. Times quotes five anonymous cows claiming you groped their
>>> > teats.
>>> > You declare bankruptcy and shut down all operations.
>>> > The cow starves to death.
>>> > The L.A. Times' analysis shows your business failure is Bush's fault.