There once was...........

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AHhhhhhh, what the hell?

Post  fortuna on Mon May 29, 2017 7:06 pm

In the harem, a lonely girl calls,
But the guard, all unheeding, just sprawls.
When he's asked if he cheats,
On the sultan, he bleats,
"Oh, I would-but I haven't the balls."

A young Polish peasant from Gorsk,
Fell madly in love with his horse.
Said his wife, "You rapscallion,
That horse is a stallion---
And sodomy's grounds for divorce."
Cool Shocked


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But YES, we have no bananas.

Post  fortuna on Sun Jun 04, 2017 3:34 am

There was a young man from Brighton, Cool
Who thought he'd at last found a tight one.
He said, "Oh my love,
It fits like a glove."
Said she, "But you're not in the right one."

There was a young wife of Bill Dexter,
Whose husband exceedingly vexed her.
In bed when they'd start,
He'd invariably fart
With a blast that would nearly unsex her. Shocked

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Well, whadayaknow?

Post  fortuna on Sun Jun 11, 2017 2:58 pm

There was a young girl whose frigidity,
Approached cataleptic rigidity.
Till you gave her a drink,
And she would quickly sink,
In a state of complaisant liquidity.

There was a young goddess, a Venus
Who was obsessed with her lover's big penis.
She liked pubic hair
And balls that were bare,
And she loved jacking him off into Kleenex.

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OK, let's have some more.

Post  fortuna on Sun Jun 18, 2017 5:13 am

A vigorous fellow named Burt
Was attracted to every new skirt.
      Oh, it wasn't their minds
      But their rounded behinds
That excited this loveable flirt.

There was a young lady named Rose
Who'd occasionally straddle a hose,
      And parade about squirting
      And spouting and spurting,
Pretending she pissed like her beau.   Shocked

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YES, this is a reply.

Post  fortuna on Sat Jun 24, 2017 10:27 pm

The young stud got blasted on coke affraid
Then picked up a girl for a poke.
He stripped off her pants,
Fucked her into a trance,
Then shit in her shoes for a joke.

A lovesick skydiver named Sherm
Bailed out with his prick long and firm.
Two jerks plus a spasm,
Produced an orgasm,
And he spelled out, "I love you" in sperm.

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AH 1 and ah 2 and ah 3.

Post  fortuna on Fri Jun 30, 2017 11:31 am

An Italian man named Marini Very Happy
Realized he had a dozen bambini.
He said, "If I thought,
Thata my sauce was so hot,
I'da never put inna my weenie.

There was a man from Kilgras
Who had two big balls made of brass.
When he klinked them together
They played stormy weather
And lightning shot out of his ass.

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Should I or should'nt I?

Post  fortuna on Tue Jul 11, 2017 4:34 am

There was an old fag name of Bruce
Who won a young boy by a ruse.
He filled up his rear fuselage
With a strong brand of mucilage
And he never could pry himself loose.

In the Garden of Eden lay Adam,
Complacently stroking his madam.
He chuckled with mirth,
For in all of the earth,
There were only two tits, and he had 'em!

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A GNU 1 or 2.

Post  fortuna on Thu Jul 20, 2017 9:06 pm

Of his face the girl thought not so much,
But then, at the very first touch
Her attitude shifted.
He was terribly gifted
At licking, and sucking, and such.

A proper WASP lawyer named Fife,
Had a marriage just filled with great strife
For he thought a perdition
Every sexual position
But lying on top of his wife.

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Whew, hard work, here.

Post  fortuna on Tue Aug 01, 2017 8:27 pm

There was a young fellow of Kent Rolling Eyes
Whose prick was so long that it bent
So to save himself trouble
He put it in double
And instead of coming, he went.

If you talk about actions immoral,
Then you'll have to award a big laurel
To a WAVE on the sea
Who took men in threes---
One fore, one aft, and one oral. Shocked

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I keep doing this.

Post  fortuna on Mon Aug 07, 2017 5:54 am

The young whore was such a crass shrew
She filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin,
"If they pay to get in,
They'll pay to get out of it, too."

A lady tourist supping in Peru,
Found an elephant's cock in her stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout!
Please don't wave it about,
Or the women will all want one, too." Razz

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Over and an over and an over again.

Post  fortuna on Sat Aug 12, 2017 12:44 pm

A man found his young maiden bride Cool
Had a cunt that was 12 inches wide.
The groom said, "To fuck it,
I need a prick like a bucket.
To keep me from falling inside."

A young Cajun lady from Natchez,
Was unfortunately born with two snatches.
She often cursed, "Shit!
I'd give up both my tits,
For a man with equipment that matches." Rolling Eyes

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2, 4, 6, 8, who do we appreciate?

Post  fortuna Yesterday at 8:27 pm

A winsome young fairy from Crete,
Sold his body to tars in the street.
He went sailing one day,
And in a most unusual way,
He clapped up the whole Turkish fleet.

"Since my sex is bisex," said Casey,
"I've chosen a city that's racy.
With it's either-or zest,
I get letters addressed,
To WASHINGTON, D.C. AND A.C."

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Re: There once was...........

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